An Apology to the Beautiful (and Miserable) Pregnant Mamas

Confession: I probably judged quite a few pregnant women during my first pregnancy. My first, blissful, glorious and sun shiny pregnancy. The kind of pregnancy you imagine when you see Jessica Alba or Gwen Stefani pregnant. The kind of pregnancy that makes most normal pregnant women shoot daggers out of their eyes at their US Weekly right before they heave themselves up with a giant groan and waddle to the kitchen for another handful of Tums. I felt graceful, strong, beautiful, sexy even, pretty much right up until I went into labor.

Mood swings you say? Nope, not this level headed gal.

Nausea? Does a stomach ache from eating too many fish tacos count?

Blotchy skin and stretch marks? All you have to do is moisturize, really. Coconut oil solves EVERYTHING.

I sailed through those 9 months with only a minor discomfort here or there, a little hip pain, and a lot of confidence. I listened “sympathetically” to other pregnant women’s woes and silently thought they must be being dramatic. How could it possibly be that bad? Our bodies were MADE to do this! We’re making a human! Isn’t it amazing?!?! Cue me skipping gracefully through a field of daises holding hands with my new husband until we tumble into the tall grass and continue to get along splendidly.

Well, shit… I am SO sorry mamas.

Pregnancy number two is upon me. Well, almost over actually. Thanks the Lord above. At 35 weeks I feel like I have been pregnant for a decade. So believe me when I say…

During the first five months of nausea and vomiting so bad that I lost 15 lbs and could barely keep water down, I was apologizing to you.

When I turned into a complete lunatic, crazy person and sobbed daily for reasons I couldn’t even explain, and thought my husband was going to leave me, I was apologizing to you.

When the hip and back pain got so bad that I couldn’t sleep for more than a 10 minute interval at a time, I was apologizing to you.

When the pelvic pain turned me into a cripple that hobbled around the grocery store holding on to a shopping cart for dear life, or wondering if I was going to get both legs in my pants that day, I was apologizing to you.

Now that my heartburn keeps me from pretty much eating anything larger than a grape on most days and the nausea has returned with a vengeance, I am still apologizing to you.

Some of this may have to do with the activity involved with our two year old wild child running full speed around the house at all hours, but I think most of it is just pure pregnancy. Pure, unglorified, uncomfortable, unsexy and sometimes downright miserable pregnancy.

Of course I am still grateful daily. My body is still doing something amazing. I am still blessed to know what it feels like to grow and carry life within me. Most days I feel guilty for even thinking about complaining, especially with the thought that this could be my last pregnancy. When people ask me how I’m feeling I still feel the need to say, “Great! You know, the normal stuff, but good!” Because I know what a gift I have been given.

But this time around the “normal stuff” has completely knocked me on my big, pregnant ass and I’m very impatiently counting down the days until our little man arrives. So to all the mamas who my naive, little, blissful, first pregnancy self thought were just pulling the pregnancy card…. you rock.


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